May 04, 2013

Redefining Normal

Last night Rob and I went out for dinner to celebrate our anniversary and we dropped the kids off at Bob and Beth's house. We had a perfect evening filled with great food and lots of laughter. After dinner we went to pick up Aria and Evan and had a glass of wine by the firepit while the kids played. They were up a little late but on a Friday it's not such a big deal. I couldn't help noticing how "normal" and relaxed I felt. It was rejuvenating and we both needed that.

This morning I was watching Evan sleep, his steady breathing gently lifting his chest. I marveled at the length of his eyelashes and admired his lightly freckled cheeks.

As I watched him sleep I noticed his hand twitching in his sleep. Not a seizure but maybe a neurologic induced movement. I watched him more closely just in case and within minutes his body began to shake in the rhythmic movement that defines what is now normal to us.

I snapped into action and gave him the rescue meds as Rob rushed into the bedroom. The seizure lasted 7-8 minutes, as most do for him. These are always the longest minutes, filled with worry and dread.

After the seizure Evan slept again, this time as a result of the meds we gave him but looking every bit as angelic as he did earlier.

This redefined normal weighs heavily on our whole family and I'd like to find a better treatment option, one that actually works. I'm looking forward to the day when my version of normal doesn't feel so warped!