Yesterday Evan had a seizure and it was a big one. It's nice that he isn't having them every day anymore, but how quickly we are derailed when he does have one. Nothing makes me feel more helpless than watching Evan have a seizure. We watch at the sidelines as his body is gripped by something out of his control, out of our control. And we can't make it stop or can't take it away.
So we watch. We hold him, we stroke his hair, we tell him he's safe, we time the length or the seizure, we worry. This one lasted too long, upwards of 5 minutes -- we don't know eactly how long it lasted because when we woke up he was already having it. You start to worry at the 5 minute mark, it's when you administer a rectal medication to stop the seizure and call 911. Rob called 911, I popped the cap of the drug, and on its own the seizure stopped. Just like that it was over. Rob told the operator Evan was ok, that we didn't need an ambulance. Evan, exhausted, went to sleep. I went to work. Back to normal...but the reality is we don't have "normal".
We were more shaken by this than Evan who woke up a little while later saying he was feeling great and wanted to go to school. He missed the bus as he slept off the remnants of his seizure so Rob took him to school -- Evan walked in as if nothing had happened.